


the sound of unspoken words

by Anonymous



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Depression, Fluff, Kuroo just really loves Kei, Light Angst, M/M, Tsukishima Kei-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 12:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8014564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You deserve the moon and all her stars. You deserve everything I give you and everything I cannot but I wish that I could. You deserve the world, Kei.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	the sound of unspoken words

**Author's Note:**

> was originally going to title it with a really meaningful word, or something that summarises how kei and i feel, but i ended up being unable to find something, so i titled it "the sound of unspoken words", because to me, there's no better way than that to describe it.

Tokyo winters are harsh and unforgiving, and sometimes Kei wishes that Kuroo would be like that, too. There are times when Kei goes quiet. When he doesn’t have the energy to say a simple ‘hello’, or return an ‘I love you’. There are times when Kei doesn’t have the energy to smile anymore. He wants to, knows he _should_ , but he can’t. He can’t, and yet as he looks at Kuroo with a face like the stormy sea, Kuroo always, without fail, manages to smile back with the light of a thousand suns, and Kei doesn’t know how he does it.

It scares Kei.

It scares him how he can come back home - _home_ \- to smiles and laughs and all things bright and wonderful and _happy_ when Kei is the farthest thing from those. When he’s utterly undeserving. When he’s utterly weak.

“But you’re strong. You’re so strong, _so_ strong, stronger than I could ever hope or wish to be,” Kuroo tells him as they lay in bed one night, the room thick with the smell of sex and the sound of unspoken words. Kei shuts his eyes, thankful that his glasses are lying somewhere on the floor so he doesn’t have to see that heartbroken look on Kuroo’s face whenever he sees Kei like this. “You deserve the sun,” Kuroo shuffles closer, disregarding the tail of tangled bedsheets that curl around his thighs. He presses closer to Kei, the warm pads of his fingers tracing circles into the small of Kei’s back. “You deserve the moon and all her stars. You deserve everything I give you and everything I cannot but I wish that I _could_. You deserve the world, Kei.”

“How can-” Kei chokes on his words, voice grating and unfamiliar. “How can you _stay_ with me.”

Kuroo presses even closer, so close that Kei can feel him smile that fond, dopey, love-struck smile.

  
“Because,” Kuroo whispers, “you’re more than I deserve. You’re everything bright and wonderful and beautiful, and I’m lucky,” he buries his face into Kei’s shoulder. “I’m so, so lucky, Kei. I love you, _I love you, I love you._ ”

Sometimes Kei cries so much he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to cry again. He cries until he can’t even remember why he was crying in the first place, cries until he feels sleep pulling at him, cries until he feels like he could never move again. He used to cry on the shower floor, the hum of the water muffling his pathetic chokes and sobs and whines. He now cries on the little balcony of their apartment, surrounded by the numerous potted plants that Kuroo insists on keeping.

“Talk to them, Kei!” He remembers Kuroo grinning as he waters them, running a careful finger along the petals of one particular delicate white flower. “If you talk, they’ll listen, and trust me. They know how to keep a secret.” So Kei confides his pathetic chokes and sobs and whines to them, watching as they nod in understanding as the wind rushes past or reach out to pat his head but can never reach far enough.

“It’s okay.” Kei tells them one day. “I’m okay,” he says as though he’s trying to convince himself. The flowers don’t look convinced at all, but if they want to say anything, they stay quiet.

But there are times when Kei wakes up and feels as though he could smile with the light of a thousand suns. There are times when he laughs into the crook of Kuroo’s neck or whispers poetry to the flowers on their stupid little balcony. There are times when Kei feels like everything that’s bright and wonderful and beautiful. There are times when Kei feels _alive_.

Those are the times that Kei cherishes. Those are the times when he can lay in bed besides Kuroo, the smell of sex heavy in the air, and he has the energy to reach over and pull Kuroo into him. He has the energy to whisper a chorus of _‘I love you, I love you, I love you’s_ to Kuroo, whispering so many that he hopes he can make up for missed time.

There are times when the sun breaks through the cracks in their curtains, and Kei wakes up and sees Kuroo smiling back at him. There are times when Kei wants to cry because he loves Kuroo so much, because Kuroo’s so strong, _so_ strong, stronger than Kei could ever hope or wish to be.

And Kei comes home one day to a quiet apartment. There’s a pair of black converses by the front door that tells him that Kuroo’s home, and the sweet smell of simmering food in the kitchen. Kei walks into the living room, and looks out onto the balcony and sees Kuroo bent down, watering their plants. He sees Kuroo, everything bright and wonderful and beautiful, whispering poetry to the flowers that smile back, the flowers that offer Kei a small nod and a wave as they see him standing indoors.

But Kei just sits on their on their couch, watching through the muggy glass as Kuroo stands and wipes his hands on his knees, the surprise on his face when he sees Kei. Watches that stupid expression bloom on his face as he smiles, fond, and dopey, and love-struck.

And, gods, Kei feels like crying again, but he smiles back.

Fond, and dopey, and love-struck.


End file.
